(In my last post, we left off at the part when I had finally OFFICIALLY been admitted to the hospital.)
It was a little after midnight when they had checked my cervix, and determined that I was 2 cm dilated. I was not thrilled since I was in a lot of pain, and didn’t think I could take much more. (Labor without ruptured membranes is a lot less painful, just gonna throw that out there.) I had been concerned about my doula making it in time, but then thought I would have PLENTY of time until I would be ready to push.
My doula arrived just before 1 am. I had just received the news that my OB was not on call and the on call OB would not deliver a breech baby B vaginally. She would do an ultrasound then immediately get ready to operate if B were in any position besides head down. I was freaking out. I was and am terrified of having a c-section for various reasons. So we sat and discussed options and also came up with a plan to have my husband take the kids and stay at a nearby hotel so that they all could get some sleep. I then had Hershel bring my “birthing ball” up to my room and I also just sent my nurse to get me ice as I was mentally preparing for the long laboring road ahead.
I was still waiting on ice, when Hershel came back with the ball. All of a sudden I panicked. I had the urge to push, but thought there was no way this was happening this fast. I went into freak out mode. I was on hands and knees and said “I NEED TO PUSH!” Once Hershel saw how I was acting, he knew it was time and he immediately took the kids out of the room. (And they did not end up going to a hotel.) My nurse came in as Hershel was leaving and after my wonderful doula calmed me down, I was already pushing baby A out. I calmly told the nurse that there was a head and that I was still pushing. She didn’t really believe me, until of course she lifted my gown and saw a babies head. 1:52 am Kiersten was born.
All kinds of nurses came into the room and took my baby away (this was pretty traumatic for me and will probably write another post about this part another time) to clean and examine her. I asked to hold her and was told that I couldn’t. I was heartbroken. Shortly after, she was taken to the NICU. I don’t remember what was said to me during this time, but my concern then turned to baby B what would happen with her. I was still contracting intensely and dealing with after birth shakes and hormones too.
It was finally determined by ultrasound that baby B was presenting feet first. I started crying. I knew I was headed for a c-section. I so didn’t want things to go this way, plus I didn’t know how I could sit still long enough for a spinal because of my contractions. My doula and I prayed together for this precious baby and what was soon to follow. Then, it was time to head to the OR. I was still freaking out and couldn’t believe this was happening. I just kept praying and praying. I didn’t know what else to do.
Then as they were wheeling me down the hall to the OR, this overwhelming sense of peace swept over me. I have never felt a peace like that before. And all I remember is hearing, “You will push this baby out.” I made sure I remained calm and quiet as I was laying on my side. With the next contraction right as they pushed me through the door to the OR, I pushed and baby B’s bag of waters broke. And I knew it would soon be time to attempt the spinal.
I prayed for the next contraction to hurry up already! (Crazy. Right?) I knew with this one, I would be pushing out a baby. the next contraction came and I pushed. The next thing I know, nurses are yelling for me to stop pushing. (If you have ever felt that urge to push, you know that it is almost impossible to not push.) Two little legs were out and I pushed one more time, out came baby B. It was 2:29 am and I waited and prayed to hear her cry. And once I heard my precious Brooke cry, I just started laughing. I could not believe what had just happened.
Thankfully, I got to hold and kiss this baby girl before they took her away. I didn’t quite realize how long my girls would be in the NICU, and I was on an insane birth high, so it all hadn’t quite hit me just yet. I was so proud of myself for trusting God and my body to do what needed to be done. I had amazing support and an understanding of birth and my body’s abilities.
I also HAVE to add that I was blessed to have an amazing doula. Thank you Leandra for everything you have and are still doing for our family. We are beyond blessed to have you in our lives. I honestly think things would have gone so differently if you had not been there to support us.
If you are in the Clarksville/Fort Campbell area, and are looking for an awesome, caring, encouraging support person during your pregnancy and labor, contact Leandra.