I posted a few weeks ago about having the kiddos help more with household chores, and I have to say, it has really been a struggle.
I am very “type A” and everything has to be done a certain way. I suck at delegating, because I don’t want something to not be “done right.” It’s a terrible quality to work through and live with. Especially with a husband and 4 small children. I struggle with wanting everything done a certain way, yet I complain and cry about needing more help around the house. Oh. The irony. I get it. It’s stupid.
But I am happy to say, that we have been making progress. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. And I’m sharing because the “mom guilt” these days is real. So if I can improve on one thing, I will take it!
What we have been focusing on, chore-wise, is emptying and loading the dishwasher, along with folding laundry.
Yesterday, I put away a very asymetrical-ly folded towel without fixing it. Yes, I just left it, closed the door, and walked away. And I haven’t even thought about it until now.
Today, instead of telling Jason and Carrie where to put the dishes in the dishwasher, I let them just do it on their own. And they did great! Of course, I would have put things in a little differently, it wasn’t bad at all. I also noticed Jason go back and switch some things around so that it all fit better. They also picked up all of their toys and books and yelled “SURPRISE!!!” as I came downstairs. Even though stuff was just put wherever, I knew they both meant well and forced myself to not make some dumb comment about how nothing was in the right spot.
Of course, I still correct them, and sometimes redo things that they have already done. But lately, I have been noticing this more and try to just take a step back, breathe, and just let it be.
I know that I am far from perfect, yet I expect so much of my children. I am working on meeting them on their level, and just giving them a little push when they need it. They are so smart and have such beautiful hearts, and I never want to be the one to make them feel like they are not enough.
Parenting is tough, and I think a lot of our anger and frustration toward our children is actually an insecurity we have in our own abilities to parent. At least, I know it is often a problem I have. I worry about what others may think of my parenting if my kids don’t behave a certain way or know certain things by a specific age. But if we can just let go of that and be confident in the fact that God chose us to lead and guide these children, our expectations and priorities may change.